Do you know why you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before helping others (even your kids) with theirs? Right, because we need to be in a safe mode to be able to be a source of strength for others. There is no other way. Unfortunately, women are often programmed to think that taking our own needs first is a bad thing to do. No surprise we are often lost and resentful for not getting what we need.
A man, without doubt, wants to feel like your hero. Men need to feel validated, admired and looked up to. But they want that from a self-respecting woman who has a backbone and who first and foremost loves herself. That’s the ultimate secret of being irresistible.
You come first. In fact men respect that, because they know they are not going to be burdened for taking absolute care of your well-being. It’s too much of a pressure for any one person to be responsible for your happiness.
Men are unconsciously attracted to cool women who are more invested in their own lives than their relationships. It’s just too much pressure for most guys when women hang their happiness on their relationships and their relationships alone.
Only when you take care of your own needs first you can be a great partner to your man. So yes, be “selfish”: that’s the best thing you will ever do to your relationship. When you feel lack, you can’t give. Conversely, when you feel wholesome inside you’ll be the best lover no man can ever leave.
Another thing a woman needs to do to be irresistible is to learn the art of letting go and just focus on oneself. Let go, have faith that everything is going to be alright one way or another. How much of your waking hours is spent fighting and worrying? And you wonder why your life is so miserable?
Focusing on what isn’t working or the fact that “what is” is not what you’re looking for and mourning over it will take away from the freely available options and opportunities staring in your face, if only you open your eyes and heart to them. Energy wasted focusing on things beyond your control equals energy not being used to get you closer to what you want.
That means to stop worrying and over-analyzing of what his actions or lack thereof mean and instead, just focusing on doing things that make you energized and fulfilled.
Remember, love is all about timing. When your timing is off, don’t force it. Let it go and let the universe sort it out for you. You will find it again in different time with the same or different person.
Hence, for a man to commit to a woman, it’s more about WHEN it happens than WHO it happens with. As Thomas David Kehoe, author of the vastly enlightening Hearts and Minds: How Our Brains are Hardwired for Relationships, tell us, men look at their lives in a very chronological way. When he feels that the time is right, he will choose to commit to whoever he is with at that time.